


La Fleur

by Lemonstxr



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lisa needs to be protected, Mentions of Death, Multi, Physical Abuse, So Bear With me, Sort of? - Freeform, like at all cost, maybe? - Freeform, this is my first story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemonstxr/pseuds/Lemonstxr
Summary: Once upon a time, there were two people who fell in love...But they knew that they can’t be together.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	La Fleur

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first story I’ve written and this is dedicated to my friend. Sorry if there’s grammar mistakes. Without further ado...just read it. I don't know what's happening so don't complain about it.
> 
> *Phī : a way to address an older sister.*

She twisted the colored plastic in her hands up and down, left and right, and finally got every color matched in just a few minutes. She felt so bored out of her mind, laying on her single bed and solving her Rubiks cube eight times for the last thirty minutes. She got nothing to do and felt her stomach begging for food but she had pushed the thought into the recess of her mind.

The idea of going out of her room where her parents were arguing and yelling at each other was not a good time to get her stomach filled but she had wished that she had been out of there earlier. Or even out of the house so that she could go to the only place where she could have her consensus. 

She turned to the other bed that was on the opposite side of the room and noticed that her little sister was still sound asleep as the comforter covered her whole form. Her sister is a deep sleeper when it comes to noises. Lisa wishes she's a deep sleeper like her. Lisa's lips formed into a small smile as she got up from her bed and made her way to her sister. She knelt beside the bed and pulled down the comforter so that she could caress her soft black hair. The gesture made her sister's eyelids fluttered open.

“Phī?” Her sister said groggily.

“Shhh...I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”

She shook her head, patting the bed beside her as a gesture to lay next to her. Lisa smiled and lifted the comforter and climbed over it. She continued to caress her sister's head as they stared into each other's eyes. 

“They fought again, didn't they?“

Lisa nodded, “The noise stopped. I think papa went out again.” Her sister hummed as she started to sit up and stretched her limbs like a cat. Her sister asked her if she's going out. “Yup! Do you think you can manage to stay with mama?”

She didn't wait for her response knowing that her sister would always be there for their mother. She stood up and grabbed her dark green bomber jacket and a navy blue cap from her desk. She turned to her sister and ruffled her hair.

”Love you, Lucy. I won't be out long.”

“ _Long_ as in the whole day?” Her sister said with a smile and got a smack on the shoulder by her older sister. 

She went out of the house, stopping by at the 24/7 store that she also worked at to buy a snack to fill up her neglected empty stomach, waving at her coworker, and made her way to her favorite place, remembering the route by heart. The place was beautiful. She even called it _Paradise_. Her haven. A place to ease her mind. A place where she could call it home.

Almost every day, she would sit on a boulder and gaze at the fields of all kinds of wildflowers - a rainbow of freckles adorned the green, made dim by the plumes of debris as she watched the sunsets. There is also a cliff and the sea salt waves dancing beneath it. She sat in her favorite spot on the boulder and unwrapped her chocolate-filled bread in silence. 

It was at that moment when she finished eating her bread and after she stuffed the wrapper in her pocket, she saw a figure in the distance behind the flowers that she almost didn't notice in the first place. The figure was laying on the green grass, staring at the blue sky, the person’s right arm above their head. 

This took interest in Lisa. As far as she could remember the years of living here in Korea when she was only nine years old, she'd never seen someone spare their time at this place. Sure, some tourists would be exploring this side of town to look over the beautiful flowers or watch the sunset but never a person would lay there, enjoying the clear sky as if it was extraordinary. Lisa couldn't blame them. All ordinary things are extraordinary for her. She would look at it differently, try to understand it more rather than judging it by the looks, and call it normal. And the thought of someone that has the same view as she brought the smile to her lips.

She got up from the boulder and made her way to the figure, walking slowly -almost tiptoeing so that she won't spook the person. Once she got nearer, she noticed the person to be a young woman. Her petite body and her long wavy black hair lay gracefully over the green grass. She was holding what looks like a red Hibiscus in her right hand, brought it above her head as if to examine the beauty of the flower.

Lisa got closer and closer to the young woman that she didn't realize that her footsteps were too loud, sending the other gasped in surprise and quickly sat up and turned to where the footsteps came from. 

Lisa widened her eyes in surprise as she stammered, “Oh my God. I-I’m so sorry for disturbing you. I just saw you here and I was so curious as to who could it be. People rarely come here and I didn't think before I went to check up on you. I was being nosy and I'm so, so sorry-”

“Hi.” The other interrupted Lisa’s babbling but was thankful for stopping her before she made a fool out of herself. The other girl smiled at her.

_God, her smile is so beautiful, so angelic._

This made her smiled too. “Hi. I'm so, so sorry for disturbing your peace.”

“It’s okay. It's my first time being on this side of town. Wasn't familiar with the surroundings but this place...” The young woman let out a long breath as a gust of wind kissed her delicate face. ”This place feels like home to me.”

The wind was brisk, and the cool evening air moved in quickly, setting the stage for a perfectly gloomy night. Considering it was Thursday evening just after sunset, the town where she lived was unusually quiet and most of the evening’s commuters were already home, leaving the area relatively empty. Lisa smiled down at her and without much thinking, she sat down next to the young woman.

“So you are not from around here. No wonder I've never seen you before.” Lisa cooed, “I’m Lisa, by the way.” She extended her arms at her and wait for the other to shake her hand, having no idea if this was okay, to begin with.

The other accepted the gesture and placed her smooth, pale hand on hers. “Jennie ”, she simply said. 

No matter how simple that name is, it sends her stomach in a tidal wave of happiness. She had to admit that the woman in front of her was drop-dead gorgeous. The innocent ambiance that was surrounding her made the woman looked pure like a true angel. She looks like she needs to be protected at all costs. 

“It does feel like home, isn't it?” Lisa sighed, gazing at the pink-tinted sky that was blended with an orange and purple hue, looking so majestic.

The silence stretched between them and then Jennie finally plucks up the courage to break it. “You grew up here?” She asked.

“Born in Thailand. Been here since I was nine years old. But I love living here, always knew that this place was meant to be my home.” Lisa didn't know why the fact that she just met this young beautiful woman ten minutes ago, she talked about her life with her comfortably as if they were best friends since childhood. But she was okay with it, it's good to have someone to talk to once in a while. 

“Where do you live?” This time, it was Lisa's turn to ask her a question.

“Somewhere.” Lisa didn't ask furthermore, thinking that maybe Jennie didn't want to tell her - a stranger - and telling Lisa some personal information wasn’t the right thing to do. Although Lisa only asked in genuine curiosity, she understood that she just let it slide and just smiled once more to the other.

The sky turned in completely different hues of warm colors, a sign of an upcoming sunset. The wind kicks up, tugging at her hair. She could smell the salt from the water below the cliffs that was not far away from where she sat and it helps to keep her aware, the tiredness of another night dragging at her own eyes. Lisa almost forgot she told her sister that she won’t be out long but now here she was, sitting on the field of different types of flowers with a young woman she just met. It was not a promise, to begin with, but leaving her sister alone with their mother - and possibly even their father who just came back from god knows where - was leaving a feeling in her stomach. She didn't like the feeling at all. 

She cleared her throat as she slowly stood up from the grass beneath her, glancing down at Jennie who was also glancing up at her. 

“I have to go now. Wish I could stay for long to watch the sunsets. It was nice meeting you.” She smiled at Jennie and she returns the favor by smiling back, eyes slightly slanted. 

“Nice meeting you too.” Jennie was still sitting on the grass as she waved her delicate hands at Lisa. She waved and slowly walked backward, still staring at the other.

Once she counted ten steps backward, she finally turned and walked - more like ran - away without looking back because she knew, deep inside her, that she would meet the other again.

***

Her feet were on the front porch when suddenly she heard noises in the house. She startled when she heard her mother's yelp and Lucy's cries. She was snapped out of her daze and recklessly turned the doorknob and thrust it opened. 

_No, no, no, no._ Her mind continuously screamed like a broken recorder when her eyes landed on the scene in front of her.

Her mother and her younger sister were at the corner of the living room, shielding themselves with just their arms, and her father screaming profanities as he shoved things that were on the coffee table and the shelf. As soon as her father walked closer to the both of them, her feet were on autopilot and ran towards them, blocking her papa from getting nearer to them.

She felt it right away. The stinging pain as if she was struck with hundreds of needles on her left cheek. Something suddenly seems to plummet in her stomach, and it sinks so fast that she has to bite off a gasp, head still tilted to the side after she embraced on what just happened. Her father slapped her. She felt frozen in her spot.

“All of you are fucking waste of space!” Her father was spitting venom and walked away as she heard the footsteps faded and a door slammed shut, possibly from his father's room.

Her breathing was ragged, felt like minutes has passed, she finally turned to see her mother and sister still perching on the corner hugging each other. She exhaled from her nose and started to squat down to their side and hugged them, whispering comforting things to their ears.

Lisa felt a hand pushed her away and found her mother’s expression was neutral. Her tear-stained cheeks were so visible but her face looked like she hadn't been crying for the past five minutes. Lisa furrowed her eyebrows in confusion but backed up to give her mother and sister space. She watched both of them stood up and walked away to her’s and her sister’s room, listening to the door click indicating that they just lock themselves. 

And now, Lisa was laying her body on the worn-out sofa in the living room, alone...again.

***

Lisa woke up to the sound of the front door slammed shut. She rubbed her eyes and stretched out her limbs to fully waking her brain up. She sat up, still on the sofa, and carefully listening to every noise in the house. She guessed that her mother and sister were still in her room and her father left a few minutes ago. 

She sighed and glanced at the clock above the fireplace. 12:36, Wed - it reads. She realized that her shift was today and she had plenty of time to get ready to go to work at the 24/7 store. She was going to walk to her room but stopped her feet. She doesn’t want to disturb her mother and sister. _Are they still sleeping? Should I just knock on the door? What if I woke them up?_

And finally, she decided that she won’t be disturbing them and just shower and take her clothes from the dryer racks that she forgot to fold. 

Once she was under the running water of the shower, her mind was running at the thought of her mother's dull expression on her that night. Sure, her mother wasn't fond of her older daughter because God knows what but she can't help but thinking if she did something wrong to her. It's like she had lost her mother. Her mother had lost the spark in her beautiful dark brown eyes whenever she would tell her a bedtime story. Her mother had lost her caring gesture like sometimes she would ask if Lisa had eaten yet or where she would go or just ask how is she feeling. Her mother had lost her smile. That smile she loved that her mother always showed to her. The angelic smile that she found comfort in them. She had lost it. She never has seen it anymore. She wanted to know what could have changed her mother but didn't have the guts to ask her. She just pretends that everything was fine, that her mother didn't change at all, that her mother still loves her. 

_Is she?_

***

The sound of the bell coming from the entrance quickly snapped out of her daze as she stood behind the counter and glanced at the person who was just got in the store. It was a guy, a smile plastered on his face as he waved her. 

“Oh, Jaebeom-ah? You’re here early.” Lisa waved back at her coworker.

“Yeah, I remember that time when I was thirty minutes late and you have to stay longer than your usual shift, so I’m going to take your remain forty minutes shift as an apology.” He explained and made his way to the back of the room to punch in his card. 

“You don’t have to apologize. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“But I want to.” He was at the counter, waiting for Lisa to walk at the front and grabbed a bottle of water and a triangle-shaped gimbap, realizing that she hadn’t had her breakfast nor lunch, and walk back to the counter to pay for her things. “Now, shoo. You are not needed here.”

“Jerk.” She said playfully and walked out of the store. 

Her feet brought her to the one place she always cherishes and was going to sit on her usual place on the big boulder but soon halted her feet when she recognized the familiar black wavy hair, sitting amongst the field of blossoms. This brought a smile to her face as she made her way down to the field, brushing the grass and the flowers with both of her legs. 

She was quietly settled down beside the other as she turned her head towards her to find Lisa's bright smile. The other smiled as brightly too.

“Hey, again,” Lisa whispered but loud enough for the other to hear. 

“Hey.” 

They both sat silently as they watch the scenery in front of them, how beautiful it is that it was almost surreal. Lisa offered the other a triangle-shaped gimbap but the other softly refused, saying that she already ate on the way here. So Lisa ate her food alone, enjoying each other's company.

Lisa then talked about how the stars in the sky were so bright at night that you can almost see the whole milky way. It's just a shame that she couldn't stay longer to witness how magical the sky is. She could also tell every constellation that exists in the galaxy and tell every story behind it. She admitted that when she was a kid, she loved learning about astrology that her dream was to be an astronaut so she could be with the stars. But she realized that not all dreams were meant to be real, that they always stay as a child's fantasy.

Jennie listened to every single word she said. She just loves how Lisa adores nature and the way her eyes sparkle into hundreds of stars whenever she told her favorite stories about one of the constellations. 

“You love nature, huh?” Jennie asked though she doesn't have to ask to know the answer.

“Very much.” the other responded. “Not everyone adores nature. People were just too selfish to think about how the sun brighten up their day, how the moon and millions of stars lighten up their darkest hour, how the flowers make everything and everywhere more beautiful and also a great friend, how the waves by the shore making music nonstop, how the weather express their mood every time, and many more. People just don't understand and very ungrateful to nature. They didn't realize how nature almost did everything for them. So, thanking and understanding them is the least I could do.”

Jennie was so mesmerized by how Lisa view her surroundings. The way she said it, it sounds so sincere and genuine. Jennie showed her palm to the other, but she couldn't comprehend what Jennie wants. ( _Did she want something? Is she hungry? I already ate the whole gimbap-_ ) Her train of thoughts was interrupted when Jennie took her hand and brought it to her own, intertwining every finger.

”Guess we're even.” Jennie uttered with a smile, and that makes Lisa's stomach fluttered and her cheeks heated up as she tried to lower her head in hopes that the other didn't see her blushing. 

“Yeah, guess we are.” and at that moment, Lisa realized that she had a crush on the other.

***

After that, they see each other often. Either they sat next to each other in silence and watch the panorama as seconds pass by or they just talk about random stuff for hours like how vast the ocean is that human just discovered only five percent of it, that trees on earth are more than the stars in the sky (“I know, crazy right? The stars are just millions of them while there are trillions of trees on earth.” Lisa let out with a hint of excitement in her voice.), and they also talked about the planets and complained whether Pluto is a planet or not.

It was mostly Lisa who's the one that conversed first about different topics, and Jennie just sits there listening to her babbling but she loved listening to her voice. She loved staring at her face that was full of enthusiasm. 

“Pluto is kinda sad though,” Lisa muttered. Jennie just hummed and waited for Lisa to continue explaining.

“You know? Pluto was a Greek God of the underworld and was kept isolated from the living humans and gods. Even though he was hidden from the daylight and the living, he was not evil. He was just doing his job as the keeper of the law of deaths and the gates of the netherworld. But I can't help but wonder how lonely he was. No one ever visited him, not even his other siblings except for Hermes. It’s so sad to think about how isolated Pluto is.” Lisa explained with a melancholy tone, “But at least the Dwarf planet is now accompanied by the Sagittarius constellations. I'm sure the planet won't be lonely after all.”

Jennie softly smiles and kept listening to her random opinions. Lisa's understanding of the world was so unusual and unique that it makes her view changed too. Jennie shifted closer and rest her head on the other's shoulder as Lisa ran her fingers on her black, silky locks. 

“Sorry, did I make you bored?” Lisa whispered on the other's hair. 

Jennie shook her head and glanced up to stare at her sparkly dark brown eyes. “No. Keep talking. I love hearing your voice.”

Lisa chuckled lowly, “Just my voice?”

“No, no...your view of the world too. It's so extraordinary how you see things differently. I love to learn everything from you.” 

“Then, you come to the right place.”

Lisa talked about other things that she knew whether it was historical, mythical, or even conspiracies. She explained that she knew these things because she read almost the whole shelves of different books in the library that was located in the town whenever she had the chance. The public library was her second favorite place to be other than the blossoming field.

“Okay, let's stop talking about what I know.” Lisa turned to the other. “Wanna go somewhere?”

Jennie just furrowed her eyebrows, “Go where?”

“I’ll show you. Let's go.”

Both of them went to an arcade only a few blocks from the blossoming field. Lisa never let go of the other’s hand as they both finally in the arcade, looking around to find something to play with. Lisa then decided to play the _Dance Dance Revolution_ and trying hard to convince Jennie to challenge the other.

“Come one, Jen. It's going to be fun!” Lisa whined and tried to show her puppy face. 

“I don't know. I can't dance.”

“Oh, you can. You just don't. Let me show you.”

She inserted four quarters inside the machine and Lisa quickly choose a song. The machine roared loudly and then the countdown starts. She was hastily on the dance floor and sets her foot according to the game. _Left, left, up, right, up, down, down._ She continuously stomping her feet as she holds on to the railing behind her. The game ended after a few minutes of nonstop dancing, panting heavily, and finally turned to see a very amused Jennie. Her smile was so wide that reaches her eyes and could see her gums. It was so bright. _God, she's so adorable._

“See? It's not that difficult. Lucky for you, I chose the easiest dance. Care to join?” Lisa said with giddiness.

“I don't know, Lisa.” Her face scrunched, unsure. That was the first time Jennie said her name and she can't help but felt her stomach fluttered in delight.

“Aw, come on. Just this once.” Lisa pleaded and the other rolled her eyes and said, _Okay, fine_ but she doesn't sound annoyed. More like contentment. Lisa squealed and inserted both of the machines with quarters.

And that's how they spend their afternoon with them stomping their feet on the dance floor machine that luckily, the machine didn't break down as sweat decorated their foreheads and down the neck, laughter and wheezes and the sound of quarters inserted into the various machine filled the arcade.

Eventually, they stopped and went out of the arcade to buy drinks and snacks at the vending machine. They sat on a bench at the park nearby and watch the kids running around chasing each other. Lisa turned to glance at the other, smiled so wide that showed her perfect rows of white pearl teeth. Jennie could feel Lisa was staring intently at her so she stared back at her and mirroring her smile giddily.

“Do you have fun so far?” Lisa asked, her smile doesn't die down.

“It was worth a whole life,” Jennie said, and it wasn't a lie. 

***

Sometimes, Lisa came back home to some arguments, shouting, crying, and curses. But it always ended with her father slammed the door shut and her mother and sister walked to her room and sometimes locked themselves in. But today, once the chaos settled down, her mother sleep in her sister's bed and cuddled the younger, crying their eyes out to sleep. At least the door wasn't locked, Lisa doesn't have to sleep on the couch and don't have to worry about her spine starts to break in the middle of the night. 

She laid on her bed but it seems like her brain didn't give her mercy to rest. So, she just stared at the white ceiling, counting the freckles, cracks, and other imperfections to kill time. Sometimes she would play with her Rubik’s cube, twisting it randomly without even looking at it because she can't see in the dark. But often, her mind was filled with the young woman she met almost two weeks ago.

She always thinking about running her fingers on her soft, wavy long hair, how her eyes start to twinkle whenever Lisa would talk about random things, how perfect her white pearl teeth are whenever she smiled widely that her gums showing, her honey-like voice, her delicate fingers, her angelic face, and many more indescribable features that Lisa can't seem to tell the whole world about how beautiful and amazing the young woman is. 

She can't help but smile at the thought alone. Oh, how badly she wanted to spend the whole time with the other. How badly she wanted to kiss the other every time she stared at her pink, soft lips and even her soft, blushed cheeks. Everything about her made Lisa’s heart skipped a beat.

_Otherworldly._ Jennie is otherworldly, Lisa can't say otherwise.

Was it possible for her heart to beat promptly by just the thought of the other that she just met two weeks ago? Was it possible for her to feel the itchy tingling in her chest? Was it possible for her to feel hundreds of butterflies in her stomach?

Was it possible that what she felt was love? 

No...that’s just impossible. No one could fall in love with the person you just met...two weeks ago. Lisa never believed in love at first sight. Nothing is magical in this world. But maybe...maybe the world is magical. 

Maybe she's really in love with Jennie.

The thought of Lisa fell in love with the other makes her head dizzy with delight and a little hope. 

In the end, Lisa’s eyelids felt heavy as she let them droop and she fell asleep after she felt her lips stretched upwards.

As the sunlight coming in from the window and through the curtains in the room, her eyelids twitched when her skin felt the warmth of the daylight. She slowly blinked her eyes, adjusting her vision to get used to the bright light. She rubbed both of her eyes to shook her sleepiness away. She sat up and her eyes automatically landed on the two figures still sound asleep across the room. She sighed heavily and reached out to the glass of water that was on her bedside table. She brought it up to her lips and drank it until the last drop. She heaved out a breath once her throat soothes by the cold water. 

She got up from her bed and started her routine by going into the bathroom and showered. Once she puts on her clothes and her cap from two years ago when she got it from the thrift store, she went to the front door and walked out of the house. As she walked for about three minutes, she suddenly halted her movement and just stood there still. 

She didn't know why she stops but she felt something unfamiliar, something that bothers her chest and her mind that her brain told her to stop from walking. She felt like her chest was filled with seawater, big violent ocean waves kept hitting her insides and she could felt that she was drowning in it. It was not a good feeling. It wasn't that disastrous per se, but it just bothers her. It seems like her heart wanted to tell her something. Something that is going to be bad. Something that she doesn't like to feel.

But Lisa put the weird feeling aside and buried it far deep in her mind and told herself that it was nothing. That it was just her imagination and paranoia just keep messing with her and that everything is going to be okay.

Her heart kept screaming at her that _Something is wrong! Something is going to happen sooner or later and you won't like it!_ But Lisa just ignored it. She knew that it is better to listen to your heart than your brain and have to trust her instinct than just ignoring it. And she knew that believing her instinct is one way to survive. But today, she doesn't want her paranoia to distract her and ruined her day. For God's sake, she just started her day! And Lisa just wants this day to be a normal day...or even better.

So, she continued to walk her way to the 24/7 store, punched her card, and wait for Jaebeom to take her shift and go to her favorite place but this day, hours passed by so slow that it almost drives her mind crazy. The reason why it makes her mind that way is that she wanted her shift to be over and just run to that place to meet the other. Yes, she admitted it, she misses Jennie, even though she saw her just yesterday. 

When the entrance door rang the bell and in came Jaebeom, they greeted each other with simple ‘Hello’s and Lisa went to fetch her bomber jacket in the back room. Lisa then said goodbye to her coworker and wished him a great day as she exited the store. 

Once her foot stepped on the outside, she breathed in the air (Although the air wasn’t that fresh due to the cars and motors passed by. Sure, the air would be toxic.) to ease her mind. Her legs automatically brought her to that one place where she could meet the other. She walked down the field as the flowers brushed her shin and knees and sat in the middle where they usually hang out. Jennie wasn’t there yet so Lisa just patiently waiting for the other. Lisa rarely sits on the big boulder after she met Jennie. 

She plucked off the grass and cut it into pieces with her fingers as she waited, and waited...and waited. Usually, Jennie always comes to the field early than Lisa so the thought of Jennie being late concerned her. 

_It's alright, Lisa. Maybe she's busy. Maybe she's unable to come because of personal reasons? She's alright, you don't have to be worry. Right?_

The hues in the sky changed every second as it gets darker and darker and Lisa don't know how long she sat on the grass, plucking some grass, and waited. She sighed heavily when Jennie didn't show up. She stood up from the ground and dusted off some dirt that was stuck to her jeans, looking left and right in case Jennie would magically show up but the reality was too cruel to let that happen. She felt a little disappointed that the other didn't come. It was time for Lisa to just go home and try to come back here tomorrow. 

Something’s off right now, Lisa thought. She doesn't want to think something’s wrong with Jennie but the dark part of her mind made her thought it that way. It was already the third day. And Jennie still didn't show up. Panic blazing inside of her. She didn't know where the other lived. God, she didn't even have her phone number.

_Why I didn't ask for her number in the first place?_ Lisa asked herself and she didn't know the answer to that. That's how stupid she felt.

Lisa even searched for her at the arcade that they went to last time but of course, there were no signs of her. As if her life gets any easier. 

Lisa grunted in frustration, pulling her strands at the moment as she sitting criss-cross on the boulder. Where could the other be? Where could Lisa search for her? Lisa couldn't answer her questions. She breathed in and out, in an attempt to calm her down.

Lisa misses the other, so much that it hurts her heart (Alright, Lisa, that's pretty cliche. Stop watching some shitty romantic movies.) The bad feeling she had before was back, much worse than it had ever been. Lisa assured herself that Jennie just left the town. After all, she was not a former resident of the town Lisa lived in. Yeah, Jennie left the town to go back to her actual home without saying goodbye to Lisa because maybe the other left with urgency and hadn't had the time to meet Lisa to say a proper goodbye. That makes sense.

Lisa huffed in disappointment at the thought but couldn't blame the other. She was no one to the other so why Jennie cared if she should at least say her farewell to her? Her breathing hitched and felt her eyes burned but soon blinked her eyes a couple of times to thwart herself from crying. Does that mean she will never get to meet Jennie ever again? 

_Why are you crying for a girl you barely knew? You're no one to her._

But she's someone to her. Someone who she realized she fell in love with.

She's Jennie.

Her sweet, angel, most beautiful, Jennie.

And she's in love with her.

***

Lisa walked back home, both hands buried in the pockets of her jeans. It was always the same every day. The shouting every morning or night at home, Lucy’s crying and kept mumbling for them to stop shouting, doors slamming; another shout, Lisa ran to the only place where she could ease her mind but never found the other. 

It's been a few weeks now and Lisa's heart still believed that Jennie would eventually show up and Lisa could finally tell the other how she felt this whole time. She wanted to describe every feeling she felt when Lisa looked into Jennie’s eyes, her delicate fingers whenever they touched hers, her honey-coated voice whenever she spoke or laughed, her soft features, and how everything that she did make her heart skipped a beat. She could rant about it all day long.

Her heart still felt heavy at the thought that she couldn't see Jennie anymore and it's really hard to get over it. Lisa sighed and continued to walk home.

Once she walked on her front door porch, it was when she fished out her keys that she realized the front door was locked. She soon swung the door open and was only met with dead silence. 

“Mom, Lucy, I’m home,” Lisa called but no one responded to her. 

They’re probably still asleep? She thought. Lisa took off her cap and her bomber jacket and threw them on the couch. She made her way to her room and gently knocked on her door.

“Lucy?” Still no answers. 

She put her hand on the doorknob and twisted it and swung it opened. Once she stepped in, there's no sign of her sister and even her mother. Her sister's bed was empty, the comforter was tucked at the end of the bed. Lisa furrowed her eyebrows in turmoil. Where could they possibly be? Lisa searched for them in the kitchen, the backyard, her parents' room, the bathroom, and in the storage room but to no avail, no trace of them could be found.

Lisa huffed in frustration, fingers pulling her strands of hair. Lisa walked back to her room and sat on the edge of her sister’s bed. She looked around the room and only found out that her desk was half empty on the right side. Suspicion grew inside of her. She went to check the desk and opened every drawer, examining the content. Something was missing. 

Her sister’s belongings were missing.

Panic struck her chest. Lisa glanced at her dresser and instantly shuffled her feet and opened the doors of the dresser. Her breath hitched in her throat. Her suspicion was right. All of her sister's clothes were gone except for Lisa’s. Her lips quivered and she felt her eyes burned. 

_No, this can't be. It's not-- Lucy would not._

Lisa quickly ran out of her room and barged into her parent’s and immediately went to the dresser and swung the doors open. It was half empty...with only men's clothes. Lisa shakily exhaled as she wrapped her arms around her, in need of comfort but that attempt didn’t work. She needed someone to comfort her. She needed a warm feeling surrounding her. She just needed someone.

Her head jolted in the direction of the front door, watching as her father slammed the door shut and took off his shoes, a glass bottle of soju in hand. His other free hand clutching his head like he’s having a headache. He must be drunk. Lisa walked to her father and clutched both of his shoulders, not caring if the gesture pissed the old man off. 

“Papa...papa where’s mama? Where's Lucy?” Lisa asked, desperation coating her tongue. Tears welled up in the corner of her eyes that were overflowing as they slid down her cheeks. 

“Get off me!” Her father jerked away and Lisa’s hand fell on her side. “They’re gone, leaving you because your mama finally thinks that you're just a waste of space.”

Lisa's heart clenched to the point where she gasped for air but it ended up being in much more pain. Her father’s words stabbed her right in her weak spot, and to think that his words might be true making it hurts worse. She couldn't believe in his words, does she? Her father was drunk. He's not in his right mind at the moment so it could be his nonsense mouth that was in control. 

Her father strolled past her, too numb to feel her shoulder jerked back by her father's. She stared at the floor, feeling her hands twitched and clenched them shut, pretty sure her nails left crescent dents on both of her palms. Anger flooded her whole body. She promptly turned and walked towards her father's room with a long stride, turned the doorknob, and pushed it open till it slammed to the wall. His father was at the edge of the bed, quickly snapped his head up to know who the hell barged in his room. 

“You...you fucking ruined our lives and made us feel like we're living in hell. Love to torture us every time you step in this house after you went from God knows where and throwing your anger at us like a fucking child. Do you love to see us suffer?!” Lisa yelled that last sentence to her father. She had enough. It's time for her to throw her anger at him. “What do you want from us? What do you want from us?!”

“You know what I want? I want you all dead! I don't ask you to live under the same roof as me. If you think you feel like hell being with me then fucking get out of here! Go kill yourself if you can. I pay the rent, I bought you, peasants, food and you all still being an ungrateful fucking shit! Yeah, that's what I want...for you to be gone.” Her father stood up and stepped in front of her and pushed her out of the room, slamming the door shut with a loud bang. 

Lisa stood still, staring at the wooden door. Too numb to process the situation she was in. She didn’t even know if she’s experienced it first-hand right now, but it's all as clear as a crystal. Everything happened at once. Did she mess it up? Or does that supposed to happen? 

***

When she went to the field full of flowers, she didn't sit on the boulder, or even in the middle of the field. She went straight to the edge of the cliff where giant waves of saltwater danced and hit the rock under it. She took in deep breaths and closed her eyelids shut just to feel the cool breeze somehow caressing her cheeks and sent shivers to her whole body. She let out a shaky breath after opening her eyes for what seems like to last a few minutes. She felt her eyes burnt but she blinked them away to avoid her tears falling but the attempt to hold her cry languished. 

Her lower lip quivered as she let out a sob, and then her raining tears...and finally, her loud wails. She didn't give a fuck if someone somehow found her in this condition. She clenched her hand into a fist and brought it closer to her lips, biting it as a gesture for her to calm down. A minute or two has passed, she finally calmed down. She felt her cheeks sticky from the dry tears but still felt herself sniffling from the effect. She gazed straight at the waves of the sea from a mile away and slowly stood up from the ground.

“Guess it's just me then.” She muttered the words to no one in particular.

She felt hollow inside as if someone just drilled into her chest and left her feeling empty. Everything just hit her at once. Her mother and sister left her, her father didn’t want to do anything with her and wished her to just vanish from the face of the earth, and the disappearance of her somewhat first love...Jennie. She's all alone for now. No one cared. 

She wanted to say that this is unfair. Why was the world so cruel to her. Why the hell did she suffer and she didn't even ask for this. But she knew that it is the way the world works. It'll happen to anyone at any time and any moment. She will feel selfish if she said that she's the only one who suffered and no one cared because she knew most people do feel like that. So she kept her complaint to herself, buried it deep down inside her until it's unnoticed to the world, and telling it that yes, the world succeeded in making her life difficult for her to submit to it that easily. 

Lisa glanced down at the tides below, hair flying in a random direction due to the cold breeze. Thoughts floating through her head about the ‘What ifs’. What if she takes a step forward? What if she just backs away? What if she falls from the cliff? 

What if she just kills herself as her father wanted her to? 

The idea wasn't that bad either. No one will know since people barely visited this place. No one will miss her since they left her in the first place. No one gives a shit either if she survives or not from the falling. There are so many different ways to die but Lisa’s thought wasn’t at the right place at the moment so thinking about other methods just gave her a headache. 

_Just a step forward, Lisa. And everything’s going to be over._

Lisa knew that it was the regression talking but she can't help but feel that she just have to follow what it says. She continued to stare below. The waves break around the rocks in the shallows, their foam crests becoming chaotic lace over the blue. Lisa watched it swirled, mesmerized as if the movement of seawater calling her name. The water that danced inward to crush the rock, the salty air and the cold breeze brushing her skin, the foams formed at the edge of the sea, everything was so beautiful and Lisa couldn’t stop staring at it and wonder why the sea waves were so fearless. It’s calling for her. It’s calling her name to join the waves and collide into one. It somehow wanted her to come with them. Lisa’s lips curved upwards. She had no one anymore but somehow the waves were inviting her willingly, to be with her, to be there with her when no one can. 

She sighed and relaxed for a bit as she muttered under her breath, “Okay...I’ll come to you.” 

Lisa stepped forward, her foot dangling at the edge of the cliff, ready to drop her weight, and fall forward to the inviting sea waves. Before she could drop her weight down for the sea to accept her, someone pulled her by the arm that sent both of them thrown back and to the ground as Lisa letting out an ‘Oomph’. 

Lisa felt someone next to her and helping her to sit right up. Realizing she closed her eyes in the first place, she slowly opened her eyelids and adjusted to the light but still focusing on the person in front of her that was still holding her arm. It was a blur for a few seconds and it slowly became clearer. Her breath hitched when she saw the familiar long wavy hair and brown eyes. Lisa wanted to say something but her tongue couldn't process what just happened either.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Concerned painted her words as she settled both of her palms on Lisa's sticky cheeks due to the dry tears. 

“J-Jennie...why-”

“Never do that again. Ever! Do you hear me? How dangerous would it be if you weren't so careless?” Jennie said with a firm tone.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did you stopped me?”

“What do you mean? I can't just let you die! No one deserves to die!”

“Some people don't think the same, Jennie. Some people want to perish, and by stopping them, you're not saving them. You're condemning them to keep suffering by keeping them alive. Aren't you a cruel person by doing that? Deeming their decision erroneously because you think differently?” Jennie didn't say anything, it's like something just took her tongue for her to not argue back. This was not how she expected from the other after she was gone for weeks to go knows where. There was a pause. “You can't take that right from me, Jennie just because my decision is not the same as yours.”

“Lisa, this is not you. This is your regression talking.” Lisa can’t seem to look at the other, her head lowered ever since Jennie showed up. 

Maybe Jennie’s right, it was probably her regression talking due to how stressful she felt a while ago that she couldn’t think rationally. So many things happened in just one day. She never had this idea of ending herself just once. She has been telling herself that life is too short to end it just yet, life is too beautiful to leave it behind, life gives you a chance for you to see and feel it for yourself. And now look at her, trying to end everything just because of how messed up her life is. 

Lisa felt her chest clenched as her breathing goes ragged when she couldn't swallow that much air into her lungs. Her eyes watery as she clamped her fist to her left chest, also clawing to her shirt for dear life. 

“Lisa, hey...hey. Breathe with me, baby. Just breathe in slowly, and out.” Jennie’s voice was calm, soothing, just like the person, and Lisa slowly lowered herself onto her side. She wasn't trembling anymore, though she didn't even notice it in the first place. 

Lisa's bottom lip quivered and she started to cry again. This time, she didn't fight it, she let all her frustrations out by weeping, covering her face with both of her hands, and felt ashamed of herself.

“Hey, Lisa.” Her crying soon faded as she looked at the other. Jennie’s face contorted with worry. “Let’s go.”

Lisa whined, the thought of going back to her home felt like a bad idea. She didn't want to face her father after what had just happened. She would rather die. There, her subconscious mind came back.

“N-no...no. I don't want to go b-back. Please..." Lisa pleaded the other. Jennie’s face softened once more and just nodded.

“We’ll go to my place, is that okay?” Lisa never went to her place but it's not like she had any other choice so she just nodded her head eagerly.

***

They both walked to a place where Jennie stayed. It was a small one floored house that she rented. Jennie brought the other in and asked her to sit on the worn-out settee, Lisa obliged. The place wasn't that big but not too small either. It looks cozy in some type of way. Lisa wondered how it feels like to have a place of her own, even if it's just a shitty motel room. Lisa relaxed for a bit as she leaned her back on the soft settee. She could sleep like this if it weren't for Jennie burning holes on the back of her head. A few minutes had passed and finally, Jennie came back with two cups of hot chamomile tea and pass one of them to Lisa, settling herself next to her.

Lisa took the other’s offer and muttered a thank you. Jennie sent her a small comforting smile her way and started to sip on her tea. 

“I’m sorry.” Lisa started to apologize for the other after the cup was empty. Jennie just stared at her, brows scrunched together in confusion.

“What are you apologizing for?” Jennie asked gently.

“I-I wasn't thinking straight. I snapped at you when you try to save me. I should've been thanking you, not the other way around.” 

Jennie’s lips curved upward in a small smile. Thankfully it was not a pity she saw, it was just an attempt to comfort the other. Lisa felt Jennie’s hand on her head, caressing it to the point where Lisa's tense body became relaxed. 

“You don't have to say sorry, Lisa. I understand how you feel.” Jennie said and Lisa wanted to argue with that statement. 

What did Jennie know anyway? It’s not like she’s the one who’s been abandoned by everyone she loved. She wanted to say that no, she never going to understand how or why she felt this way. But at this moment, she’s too tired to argue back. She doesn’t want to snap at the other after everything she did. So Lisa just leaned on the other and felt her eyelids grew heavy every second passed.

“You’ve been crying a lot, I’m sure you’re tired. You can rest on my bed if you want.” Jennie half-whispered to the other, wanting to say ‘That would be lovely’ but ended up nodding her head and let Jennie brought her to her room.

Jennie helped Lisa laid her back on the soft comforter. Lisa finally relaxed and let her peaceful mind consumed her as her eyelids went heavy. She felt a hand caressing her hair and when a few minutes had passed (that’s what she felt), Lisa felt something soft touched her forehead. The touch was so warm and delicate, too bad it only lasted for a second. She sighed heavily and sleep engulfed her at last. 

***

Jennie watched as the other slowly relaxed and the deep breaths indicated that Lisa was finally asleep. Jennie’s lips formed a small smile, watching the other’s features. Those small round face, slim jawline, curve nose, perfect cupid’s bow, and soft pink cheeks. Every little detail on her is so beautiful. 

Jennie stood up from the bed and slowly walked out of the room, fear of disturbing the other’s rest. It was late at night. The lights outside were only from street lamps, illuminating the neighborhoods. Jennie made her way to the window, watching as the moon and the stars filled the sky like specks of dust. The night sky was such a welcoming sight, appearing like enchantment at each sunset, promising to return as it will fade in dawn’s first light. The stars appeared still, like a photo immortalized by a camera. And the moon too, letting the sun resting for a while. What would Lisa say if she watches this scenery next to her? Would she say the same thing she thought a while ago? Or more?

Her back itched every second passed and she wanted to let it sprout freely but too afraid for the other to find out. She turned to look at the door that leads to her room. Lisa was so tired and probably having the deepest sleep she could ever have. Jennie thought to herself that it's going to be alright. Just a few minutes of stretching and then she's done. 

She hesitated at first but finally let it sprout free behind her. It creates a shadow behind her. The shadow was too big that it almost covered the window. She stretched her black wings and heard a satisfying crack. It's been a long time since she freed her wings, too afraid of letting humans know that she was not their kind. 

“Jennie.” She flinched to the voice of someone behind her and she turned around quickly and hope that it was not what she thinks it was. She doesn't want Lisa to know her real side...yet 

Jennie glanced at the figure behind the shadow as it walked closer to her. Jennie sighed in relief when a black long hair came into view.

“You scared me, Jisoo.” She whispered to the other angel in front of her, white pearl wings behind Jisoo. 

“Please don't tell me what I think it is,” Jisoo said with a hint of disappointment, arms crossed in front of her.

Jennie felt herself groaning, “What are you talking about?” She hid her wings and plopped down on the settee, not meeting the other’s gaze.

“Is that why your wings still black?” Jennie didn't respond to her question. “I’m telling you, Jennie, you only have one job and you just messed it all up because of what?”

“Jisoo, can you tone it down? I don't want you to wake her up. She deserves to rest.”

“Oh, don't change the subject, Jennie. You're in love with her, didn't you?” at this, Jennie’s whole body became stiff. “Look, I'm trying to help you.”

“By what? By letting her kill herself and just ignore the fact that she's going to end up like me?” Jennie finally snapped and Jisoo just sighed in frustration.

“It was supposed to be her fate but now you're ruining it.”

“Because I don't want her to end up just like me. I don't want her to spend centuries taking people's lives because she deserves the punishment. I want her to die in peace and cross the afterlife easily. Yes, I'm in love with her and I want what's best for her. I made a mistake before, and I don't want to see it repeating from her.” Jennie felt herself panting after the words let out from her mouth. She lifted her gaze to see the other’s features softened. 

“Fine, I'll let this slide this time but her fate still goes on.” Jisoo sighed once more but not in frustration. “I’ll let her cross the afterlife peacefully. But I need to do something about you.”

“I’ll accept any punishment as long as she'll cross it in peace.”

Jisoo plopped herself down next to Jennie as she placed her hand on her shoulder, looking at the other’s eyes to see there was no reticence in them. “You’re going to spend another century and I want you to stop meeting her after this. I don't want you to mess this up again.” 

“C-can you give me a few days to say goodbye to her?” Jisoo thought about it for a second but finally watched her nodding her head and let out a sigh. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Jisoo.” 

Before Jisoo disappeared right in front of her, she informed Jennie that she'll give her two days, no more, no less.

***

Lisa could almost felt the light passing through her lids. She slowly lifted them and blinked a few times to adjust the bright light coming from the window on the left side of the room. Her memories were a little hazy but she remembered her seeing Jennie after weeks of the other’s disappearance. Lisa rubbed both of her eyes to get rid of her sleepiness, her mind racing at the thought of last night’s event.

She felt embarrassed, yes, but she never felt this relieved when Jennie stopped her from doing something stupid. The stress made her thought stupid things but it seems like Jennie didn’t blame her one bit, as if she understood what she felt deep inside her. Lisa wanted to think that the other’s action was out of pity, but the sincerity in her actions and voice made her thought the total opposite. Jennie cared for her...and it made her stomach churned in giddy.

She was still sitting on the bed when she heard the door creaked opened and found Jennie with a tray of food.

“You’re finally awake. Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Jennie smiled as she set the tray in front of her. 

Lisa could feel her cheeks warmed up and returned the other a smile. “Good morning.”

“I hope you like some waffles. I don't know what you like but I don't think everyone could reject waffles.” Lisa chuckled.

“I love waffles. Thank you for the breakfast.” Lisa said and Jennie responded with a nod. Jennie asked her if she wants some coffee or tea. “Tea would be nice.” And that was a sign for Jennie to let her eat and went out to make a drink for her. 

Once her plate was all empty, Jennie gave her a cup of chamomile tea, the same tea she drank last night. Lisa wasn't complaining, the tea soothes her whole being and that's better. Jennie sat on the edge of the bed, watching Lisa as she drank all the tea. 

“All better?” Jennie asked, shifting closer to Lisa as she rubbed her arms up and down to soothe her. Lisa nodded, putting down the empty cup. 

“Thank you again...for everything,” Lisa said when she turned to look Jennie into her sparkly, hopeful eyes. Oh, how beautiful her eyes were that she could get lost in them. 

“You don’t have to thank me. I care for you.” 

Lisa somehow looks nervous as she kept fidgeting with her fingers and couldn’t even look into the other’s eyes after that. Fuck it, she needs to say it.

“Jennie, I- um...” Lisa hesitated and Jennie just hummed in response, waiting patiently for Lisa to continue. “I...uh, I was trying to say that-” Lisa grumbled, too frustrated with herself for not seem to build the right utterances.

“It’s okay if you don't want to tell me,” Jennie said softly. Lisa shook her head vigorously.

“N-no I want to tell you.” Lisa exhaled and started to straighten her composure. “I- uh...I like you. Like a lot.” Jennie’s smile slowly faded and that made Lisa panicked.

“I-it’s okay if you don't like me back I just uh...I like you. But it's okay if we stay as friends if you want.” Lisa stammered, too scared to hear the rejection from the girl she somehow fell in love with.

“Lisa, I like you too.”

Lisa’s head snapped to Jennie, eyes widened in hope. “Really?”

“Very. But uh...I can't.”

“Oh...well, okay. That's okay I guess.” Lisa went back to fidgeting her fingers.

“No, Lisa. You don't understand. It's not that I don't like you. It's just that I can't be with you even if I want to.” Jennie explained but the other seemed to not get her words yet. Jennie slowly breathed in and continued her explanation. “See- um...we’re different- I mean...you don't know what I am and I can't be with you because you're a human.” 

That made her more confused. She can't be with Lisa because she's just a human? 

“I-I’m not a human, Lisa.” Lisa's breath hitched. “I’m an angel...of death.”

***

“Is this a joke?” Lisa finally asked for what seem to be a whole three minutes of silence. 

“Why would I ever lie to you, Lisa? I’m a-”

“Because this is not funny at all.” Lisa cuts her off, frustrated with the other and to think that all of this is funny? Well, it was all fucking wrong.

Jennie put both of her palms on Lisa’s soft cheeks, turning her head to look into her eyes as she caressed her cheeks with her thumbs to calm the younger down.

“I know this is hard to believe, but I can prove it to you if you give me a chance,” Jennie whispered, watching as Lisa finally nodding her head once her body felt relaxed. Jennie smiled, stood up from the edge of the bed not before she placed her lips on the younger’s forehead.

Jennie stood up in front of Lisa as she breathed in and felt her back itched to be sprout free. Her wings slowly stretched out and grew massive behind her. Jennie watched the younger’s reaction and expected for her to be scared or worse, to be disgusted because Jennie lied all this time, but she only met with a jaw dropped, widened and sparkly eyes ogling her wings once it was fully stretched behind her back.

“Woah.” was the only word that came out of Lisa's mouth, still gawking at that black-pearl wings. Lisa stood up next to her, hesitantly placed her hands on the wings not before she looked at Jennie. Jennie just nodded in assurance. 

Lisa gasped when she touched her wings. She could feel its soft feather under her delicate fingers. It was so soft and wondered what would it feels like if she could lay on her wings. The wings fluttered and that made Lisa giggled in contentment. 

“Your wings are so beautiful,” Lisa whispered.

“Yeah? But it's black.” Jennie said, but Lisa just shook her head.

“It’s beautiful nonetheless. It's so shiny like a rare black pearl. It's so soft like thousands of cotton all bundled up. I don't know how to describe it but it's so...otherwordly.” Lisa turned her head towards Jennie to see the other smiling, pearl white teeth on display. “And you're beautiful too.”

Jennie could feel her cheeks getting all warm when Lisa said that but still showing her smile towards the other.

“You’re beautiful...inside and out,” Jennie said softly. It was Lisa’s turn to blush.

***

“I c-can’t go back, Jennie. Please don't make me go there.” Lisa pleaded, bringing both of her hands clenched together.

“Your father's not home right now, and I want you to find something.” Jennie sighed.

“What do you mean I have to find something? Can’t you just tell me what it is?”

“I need you to figure it out yourself. Just trust me, okay?” Jennie smoothed out Lisa’s hair as she grumbled in frustration but didn't complain further. 

“Fine,” Lisa said in defeat. Lisa trusted her but that doesn't mean she likes the idea.

They both finally went to Lisa’s home, or it used to be. Now she's not so sure anymore. But it brought back memories of her family, both unpleasant and favorable. They were already stood in front of her house, so eerily quiet, a sign that no one was home. Lisa whimpered, stepping back as if the house would bring danger to her but Jennie hold her on her back and giving her a reassuring smile telling the other that it's going to be okay.

Lisa let out a shaky breath and started to walk towards the front porch. She fished out a key to the front door and began unlocking it with a satisfying click from the doorknob. She swung the door opened and met with a silent air. No creaking sound of the wooden floors or even the slight sound of a person breathing heavily. Lisa could only hear her and Jennie’s footsteps hot on her heels behind her. 

“I’ll wait here,” Jennie whispered behind her, making her flinched in the process but relaxed after that. 

Lisa sighed and her feet brought her to her room...and used to be her sister's too. The door was never closed when she left it. She walked in and the first thing she noticed was her messy bed that she forgot to tidy up. Her mother would scold her like she always did back when she was a child if she saw this. Shaking the thought out of her head because her mother was not there. The dresser was also left open when she recalled that she was looking in it and learned that all her sister's clothes were gone. 

The only thing that was left untouched was her desk and the tiny drawers. She didn't have time to look into it when her mind wasn't in the right moment at that time. She was freaking out to even look everywhere, for fuck sake. 

She went straight to her desk and opened every drawer. It only consists of several papers, stationaries, and a book. It was Lucy’s. Lisa drew the book out and flipping the pages one by one. It always about Lucy telling how her day went and when Lisa flipped it on the last page, it doesn't start with a normal ‘Dear diary’ but with a ‘For phī’. Lucy left it for her to read the notes. Lisa then started to read it.

‘For phī,

I'm sorry for leaving you, phī. I promise you that I want to take you with us to Thailand. We’re going to stay at grandma's house. I’m sure phī remember where grandma lives. I want to take you with us but mama didn't let me. She said she don't want you to be there in Thailand with us. I don't know why mama is being like that. She will instantly shut me up whenever I talk about you. But I want you there, phī. Promise me that you are going to be there after you read this. 

\- Lucy’

Lisa sighed, shutting the book and placed it on the table. Lisa sat on her bed, both hands supporting her head. So they left for Thailand where her grandmother lives, and the fact that her mother purposely left her alone with her father was much more hurtful when she thought about it. But why? Why her mother hated her so much? What did she ever do to her? Was she just not good enough to be her daughter? She left her without saying a word. She left! It hurts so much. 

She was crying, tears trailed down her cheeks like a dam finally bursting out. She wiped her tears off countless times but it ended up with more tears to spill. She didn’t want to go to Thailand, to be honest, but her sister wanted her there. Her sister made her promise and she couldn’t break that promise no matter how desperately she restrained herself to go there. But she has to...for her sister.

No matter what.

***

Jennie took Lisa by the arm and brought her home. They both lay side by side on the bed in silence, just enjoying each other’s company and the sound of every noise that could be heard from outside. Jennie playfully twirled Lisa’s soft locks in between her index and middle fingers while Lisa’s hand was on Jennie’s black pearl wings stroking them delicately. 

Other than that, Lisa was lost in her thoughts about what just happened lately but she left it in the recess of her mind and instead just asked the other some questions that she wanted to ask when the news of the other being an angel of death. She deserved to know, thank you very much.

“So, are you supposed to take my life?” Lisa started hesitantly, lest about the other being mad but she only responded in assurance.

“I was but I don't want to take your life when you try to end yourself,” Jennie said, stroking the other’s arm.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to experience the same way I did.” Lisa furrowed her eyebrows in confusion but stayed silent for the other to continue. “Before all of this, I’m just a mere human like you.”

“Really?” Lisa asked eyes widened at the statement.

“Yeah, I did something stupid in the past, and let me tell you, I truly regret it. I got punished for my misdeed. Spent an entire century as a grim reaper. I regretted it, yes, but as years passed, I let it go. I completely moved on. Besides, you can regret it but you can't change it.” 

Lisa could hear the sad tone in the other’s voice. How traumatized it was when you regret everything and you can’t go back to fix it because that's not how the world works. But Lisa couldn't help but feel fascinated with how the other cope with it after years of being in the sea of stigma. The fact that she's an angel of death for a century now amazed her deeply. Jennie has a strong soul, she could tell. 

“You’re very strong,” Lisa whispered and Jennie kept smiling at her.

“And so do you,” Jennie muttered. 

Lisa pulled back to cup Jennie’s face. The softness in her eyes is mesmerizing; it's as if all of Lisa’s fears and concerns about her life and emotions are all just matter sucked into those deep dark pools and all that was left was a sense of serenity, of being alive once more even if her life ended in the next two hours or so. 

“Do you know why I was gone for weeks?” Jennie asked her. Lisa then remembered, how the other disappeared without saying goodbye and how Lisa has been waiting for the other. Lisa shook her head and waited for the other’s explanation. “Before that, I was just watching you, waiting for the right moment to...take your life. But I didn't expect you to talk to me the first time we met. I tried to keep a distance between us but then I realized whenever my eyes met yours, there's this unknown spark in my chest and I was so curious to know what is that feeling called. You're so cheerful and optimistic and I can't help the fluttering feeling whenever that smile crept up on your face. I went away for weeks, thinking that it was a good idea to distance myself from you if it makes my feelings for you were just a mere crush. Angels weren't supposed to be in love or fall in love, especially grim reapers. We fall in love, we'll get another century to spend. But after those whole weeks of not seeing you, ” Jennie paused for a moment and then looked up to meet Lisa’s glittery, yet innocent eyes. “You won't know the feeling after you almost lose something, and I finally know what all of this means.” Jennie wrapped her slender fingers with the other’s, hearing a gasped from Lisa after Jennie brought her knuckles to her lips. “Lisa, I'm in love with you.”

***

“But I can't be with you.” 

***

Of course, it didn’t go well with the younger. Lisa had cried saying she’s fallen in love with the other too. Lisa wanted to argue about why they can’t be together but kept it buried inside of her instead. Lisa understands their situations here. Angels, more so an angel of death can’t and will never be together with a human, and the fact that Jennie was supposed to take Lisa’s life was a big no to the world. Jennie already spent a century because of her punishment, and Lisa doesn’t need to add another century for Jennie just because they accidentally fell in love. 

Jennie then explained to her that no matter what, in the end, they’ll meet again whether it’s going to take another century or maybe even a millennium, they’ll meet eventually. This made Lisa a little bit better after hearing those words, even if it’s not a promise in the beginning. Nevertheless, Lisa cried in the arms of Jennie, comforting her until Lisa felt tired and eventually fell asleep.

Jennie went out to the living room after the younger fell asleep. She went to the window where she recently stargazing from the inside. After she felt counting hundreds of stars, she finally let out a shuddering breath and then a sob. It surprised her how she felt the need to cry despite her being an angel of death. Angels don’t cry, never cry. And here she was, crying her soul out because of how the world didn’t respect her feelings and left them to puncture them instead of healing them straight away. This was her punishment, she could tell. Thinking that a century wasn't enough for her to endure, she just has to include her feelings in a list of payments she had to settle with. 

“Your wings change color, Jennie.” Jennie flinched at the voice, turned around to see Jisoo sitting on one of the settees with her white feathery wings on her back sprouting widely. “It’s white. Your work is almost done.” Jisoo continued, a small smile tattooed on her lips and she almost looked like she was proud of her.

“Y-yeah, yeah...it is.” Jennie stuttered, didn't realize that her wings were out, and true to Jisoo’s words, the silky smooth black feathers slowly turned white, indicating that her job was almost over. That her time as an angel of death was almost over, she could cross the afterlife sooner or later. It's been a century now, and she's going to be free. “B-but...Lisa- she, ” 

“Don’t worry about her. I’ll handle it and ask someone to deal with her.” Jisoo explained but that didn't make Jennie any better. What does she mean she’ll ask someone to deal with her? Isn't that supposed to be her job, accompanying her to guide her as she crosses the afterlife when the time comes?

“Aren’t I supposed to do it?” Jennie asked.

“Well, yes but...your time is almost over. You're going to cross to the afterlife world. Isn't that what you want for a long time? I already talked to the Archangel and they let you know that you can have what you always wanted.” It was true that Jennie had wanted this to happen, that she had waited long enough but that was before she met the younger. Lisa had made her feel things that she never experienced. Lisa had changed her. Jennie wanted to be the one to accompany her until the end of the line. She wanted to be the one who can comfort her when Lisa eventually found out what just happened. She wanted to be there for her.

It was silent for a few moments but Jennie finally voiced out her decision, looked at Jisoo in the eye, and exhaled slowly to ease her mind. 

“Of course I have always wanted it but...I want to be there for Lisa.”

“We’re going to set you free two weeks from now and Lisa's time of death is going way past that, approximately a month or so. Are you sure you wanted to wait for it?”

Jennie just gave the other a small smile, turned to look at the door where the younger had fallen asleep. 

‘It’s just a month, I can do a thousand more.’ Jennie thought to herself.

***

Lisa felt something caressing her hair as she lifted her heavy eyelids and found Jennie’s beautiful eyes staring at her. Lisa sighed in contentment, stretching her limbs, and groaned once she heard a satisfying crack.

“Good morning?” Lisa asked, voice hoarse. Jennie chuckled at the younger.

“Well, it’s currently 4 am, so I guess, good morning to you too, sleepyhead.” 

Lisa was fighting for her eyes to stay open but it looks like the sleepiness was still in her body but the younger was too stubborn to let her eyelids fall shut again. She can’t close her eyelids, she wanted to see Jennie, damn it!

“It’s okay, baby. Go back to sleep.”

“N-no...I don’t want to sleep-”

“Lisa, you need more rest. Just sleep, baby. It’s okay.”

“You’re gonna leave, aren’t you?” Lisa said abruptly, panic formed inside her chest, and Jennie went stiff at the younger’s question. Did Lisa know? Did Lisa hear what she and Jisoo had said earlier? “You’re leaving.” 

Jennie sighed, she couldn’t lie to the other. “We’ll meet again soon. I promise.”

“But when?” Lisa’s voice rose another octave. Her eyes were burning as tears formed, ready to be streaming down her cheeks.

“Not long,” Jennie muttered, voice cracked. “You just have to trust me, baby. We’ll be meeting soon enough. You just gotta wait, okay?” Lisa shook her head. No...she can’t lose Jennie. She needed her.

Jennie cupped both of her cheeks and brought the other closer until their forehead meets and soon after, Jennie pulled back to kiss her forehead oh so gently as if petals brushed off her skin.

“I love you,” Jennie said softly and made Lisa gasped. “I will always love you.”

Lisa was sobbing as the words got to her. Jennie will leave her, nothing could change that, but it hurts to know that she won't know when is ‘soon’.

“I love y-you too.” Lisa shakily muttered as she felt her body began to relax and the sleep slowly engulfed her whole form.

Jennie didn't have a choice but to make her sleep. She can't watch the younger in pain anymore. She knew she had to make her forget everything about Jennie being existed in her life. Jennie placed her hand on Lisa’s head, doing her thing to make the other forget all of it; her existence and also her feelings towards Jennie. 

Jennie stared at Lisa’s form, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest and her calm features. Jennie’s chest stuttered in pain, recalling the panic look Lisa had when she asked if Jennie is going to leave her. 

It hurts but there's no other way. 

“I love you,” Jennie said for the last time and kissed her head slowly, afraid to wake her up.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the end yet! There’s an epilogue so pwease leave kudos and comments (if y’all want...)
> 
> Twitter: lemonstxr


End file.
